Create A Tailor-Made Suit From Scratch
By now, most of you have probably seen that viral photo of Steve Harvey suit wearing a Canadian tuxedo. You know the one:
The first thing I thought when I saw it was “Oh no.” Not because my home country was being made fun of (well, not only for that reason), but because people will now associate the atrocity known as Canadian tuxedos with Steve Harvey (who is fantastic).
That’s like if they start selling hot dogs at McDonald’s, and every time you go there you see someone eating a hot dog. When they leave to use the bathroom, after they’ve finished doing their business, their ass is clean enough that you can eat off it and it’ll taste like a McRib.
I don’t want that to happen to Steve Harvey, which is why it’s time for me to step in.
I’m not the only one who noticed how much this suit looks like an ill-fitting dirndl skirt, right?
The reason for this (in case you didn’t already know) is because he likely bought the suit at an outlet mall, instead of having it custom made like many stars do when they visit Canada, in order to save money.
While there are exceptions in life where buying something off-the-rack will work out fine (Mark Wahlberg probably being one of them), most people should have clothing custom-made whenever possible.
So instead of mocking Steve Harvey, I’m going to help him out by providing a quick and easy guide so he can save some money and not get laughed at in the process:
Go Shopping With Your Tailor
If you don’t know where to begin when it comes to custom clothing, you need to bring someone with you who does know what they’re doing.
This is like how when parents go grocery shopping for their teenage son who has decided that his diet will consist entirely of soft drinks and white bread for the foreseeable future; they take someone along with them who knows about healthy food choices because otherwise they’ll drive home weighing 2 tonnes and covered in Cheetos dust.
Get Rid Of All The Unnecessary Details On Your Suits
When it comes to clothing, the more details you add the bulkier and more expensive it will be. A lot of guys who don’t understand this will go into a suit store and see some $3000 suit that has 24 buttons on it, and they’ll want the same thing because the guy in the store told them that all those buttons made their suit look “unique”. What he didn’t tell you was that just having so many goddamn buttons on your sleeve is going to make any arm movement feel like you’re trying to escape from a straitjacket.
Another example is how some suits have pleats in them which I’m sure women think looks attractive on men (I honestly don’t know what they do with themselves when they watch men get dressed), but the problem with pleats is that it makes your suit look extremely bulky.
Just imagine if people wore their bellies around like that, and have all this excess fabric just sloshing around underneath them because they’re too lazy to go on a diet.
Think Outside The Box And Try Something New With Your Suits
If you’re not feeling that, then try wearing three or four ties at once instead of just one. You can get away with doing stuff like this because it reduces the amount of visual clutter in your outfit so everything doesn’t look too busy on camera.
Of course, there are still some things you need to be careful about when it comes to having suits custom-made, including avoiding certain colors.
For example, if you put on a light yellow shirt and a bright green tie when having your suit made, don’t be surprised when people start asking questions like “What disease did he die from?” when they see pictures of you online after the fact.
Also make sure your tailor knows how much skin should show around your neckline when you have a tie on, or else people will think that there’s another guy in your photo who’s just standing behind you with his head in your neck.
Finally, if things go wrong and it turns out you’ve made a mistake in choosing a tailor, don’t worry – when the time comes to have another suit made for yourself all you need is permission from Steve Harvey to borrow his.